spicy pancake

recently became lactose intolerant (and less recently became disgusted with the dairy industry in my country) so I too would be excited about non dairy chocolate oranges

(though heavy metal contamination of many cocoa brands scares me too…)

moreso this is a hypothetical alternate universe where every time a straight woman says the word “dyke” it gets bleeped, a la that South Park clip

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if straight women got bleeped when they said “dyke” I’d have a way easier time dating 🫠

just run up to a hot gal with a fake microphone like “TRIVIA POP QUIZ WHAT’S THE WORD FOR ‘an embankment for holding back water’!?”

“[bleep]?”
“correct thank you ma’am have a nice day”

“dyke?”
“correct! question 2 are you single and/or dating?”

How do you think they got to be archaic?

oh yeah! that’s way cutesier-sounding than trap now I think about it

original meaning: “waaaah I got trapped into thinking a person of the sex I’m not attracted to is hot and now my genitalia is making me feel weird!”

new & improved meaning: this person dressed not as their assigned-birth-sex is so hot they could literally trap me Looney Tunes style by being distractingly attractive 😩

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I wouldn’t pejoratively call a mute person dumb, a mobility device user lame, or an intellectually disabled person retarded

but I will absolutely call cringe political fanatics lame, dumb retards

also here’s some free fag-passes from your friendly internet dyke, cuz “fag” is a great fuckin multipurpose word

happy furniture hunting! :]

Fun fact you can hack a self-cleaning oven to use the hellfire temperature of 500 ° F to make good ass thin crust pizza!

you have to figure out how to bypass the door lock, use a pizza stone, and put the pizza as high up in the oven as possible. but you can get a damn good thin crust pizza with enough creative engineering and some experimentation.

recommended to try this project in winter as it dumps loads of heat in the house lol

I have a tiny kitchen but also an appliance addiction. I have an entire folding table dedicated to all my beautiful machines for which I lack counter space, lol

When I lived in a studio with negligible counter space, the portable dishwasher sat atop one of those commercial grade wire rolling racks, which also doubled as shelves for my irresponsible amount of spices

Don’t let lack of counter space stifle your maximalism. Just make more counter space lol

missed opportunity to name it codeine

Ideally concentrated though. Shipping water is certainly not environmentally friendly

there’s the thing in the tank actually called a float, even 🤪

It’s not the high speed corridor we need, want, or deserve, but fuck at least it’s A high speed corridor. One that will presumably make a shit ton of money in both fares and casino revenues. So maybe it’ll convince Americans that it’s a good investment and maybe we oughtta, idk, BUILD MORE OF THEM

we gotta get the satanic temple on this at some point

I am lucky I generally dislike ice anyway I suppose

PSA don’t use that ice directly in beverages. I have no published evidence to back this up but I’ve never heard of any kind of rules regarding their cleaning schedule…

“Not a robot… not a girl.”

Janet is one of my all time fave characters