Police closed off a road for two days to investigate a report of a dead body dumped in woods - only to find out it was a discarded sex doll.

Warwickshire Police said it was with “great relief” that the hand and foot spotted poking out of undergrowth turned out to be an inflatable love aid.

  • ZeroCool@feddit.ch
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    1 year ago

    The force said it had followed “proper procedure” by sending a forensic pathologist to the woodland near Kineton, and cordoning off a country lane for 31 hours. But the suspected body was actually a “discarded and realistic life-size doll”, a spokesperson added.

    Police chief: Alright gents what’ve we got here now.

    Officer 1: Well, we recieved a call from a man who spotted a woman’s hand and foot sticking out of some undergrowth in the woods over there [points in general direction]

    Police chief: Right, and I see you’ve already cordoned off the area, and called in the forensic pathologist. Excellent. [turns to pathologist] So what else can you tell me about the victim?

    Forensic pathologist: What, me? Oh no, I haven’t had a look. Sounds a bit morbid.

    Police chief: You didn’t even make sure it was a dead person? What’ve you two been doing here for the last 30 sodding hours?

    Officer 1: Well you don’t have to raise your voice. We’re standing right here.

    Police chief: I know you’re standing right there, that’s the problem!

    • Norgur@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      Officer 1: I don’t know why you are so angry, Chief. We didn’t do anything!

      Police Chief: barely contained panting

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    Wait, nobody bothered to verify it was someone dead?

    That’s the dumb part. You check to see if the body is dead. Jfc.

    • Tvkan@feddit.de
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      1 year ago

      “No pulse, no breathing, no cranial nerve reflexes – this woman is quite obviously dead.”