I am 23 and I am currently in the dating scene. I’ve had no success and I’ve had the fourth person lose all interest in between setting up the date and the long wait between the date. It typically goes match on dating site, set up date, try to get to know each other over snap and then interest lost. I do tend to respond quickly but it’s not like I am constantly spamming or shit like that. I am just tired. It’s such a dumb minor thing but it seems to be destroying my chances. I am on the autism spectrum and I find texting and shit like that extremely stressful. I know no one is actually going to like past that. Divergence is punished must stick to strict social rules around dating fuck being my actual self I guess.
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I’m old (almost 40) so my advice may not be relevant.
Why is there a long gap between setting up a date and the date?
Why are they cancelling the date?
I generally match with someone, chat briefly to check for red flags and if they can message ok, then ask them out. Once the date is arranged I don’t keep texting. There’s too many ways to fuck up over text.
I’m autistic and so is my wife. We were friends first, then got talking as we both were dealing with shitty divorces. We’ve been together 13 years and our relationship just get better and better.
Don’t try to get dates using apps. They’re for a very specific set of attractive, charismatic, extroverted people. Not neurodiverse people. Some might have luck but nobody I know uses them.
Instead, in my subjective opinion, you should be joining social circles that contain the type of people you wish to date. Hobbies, clubs, sports, dog parks, volunteering, etc etc. All of which might be far outside your comfort zone and if so I apologize and I hope you don’t feel insulted. Basically you need to level up your social skills to attract prospective partners.
Of course, I met my wife online first, but it was on a forum, not a dating app. But I hope this helps in some way. Good luck!
EDIT: I didn’t date from age 17 to age 25 because I shut myself away. Only once I grew up a bit did I start getting interest from prospective partners.
Hey! Ngl dating apps suck - they are engineered basically to keep people addicted to them, and single.
The best thing to do to find a real interesting person to date is to go do stuff you want to do. Join Meetup groups, school clubs, etc. Just have fun. Live your life. Don’t base your happiness on finding a romantic partner - that is looking for an external solution for an internal problem. It doesn’t work.
Eventually you will run into someone else interesting. Don’t have expectations, just express genuine interest in them. Ask questions. Let them talk. Be open and willing to be vulnerable.
Good luck dude!
