Up til now, we’ve had:

• The sudden realization that you can bathe and don’t have to crunch around in weeks of dried gore

• The further realization that at least one npc mentions you stink and should probably do something about that

• Standing relatively close to a waterfall for a few minutes if you can find one, or perhaps walking at a normal pace through a really deep puddle.

• Sophisticated method — stealing a water bottle, throwing it really hard at the floor, and hoping the splashback is enough

After months of steady work, we can use the soap now, but you’re going to have to give your fellow gamers a minute to get used to things before you start making other suggestions