If you can’t summarize your love for somebody with bullet points, do you really even love them?

Why can’t you just draw dicks like a normal person?

I eat that free hotdog every week, then go across the street and buy another one.

Is that what he was saying in Mario 64? “So long, Gary Bowser!”

I mean, I’ve never been into it… But this is probably the most convincing argument I’ve seen yet.

“Major Major had been born too late and too mediocre. Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.”

It’s seems that way from the inside, too.

STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION
“THE CLOSET INCIDENT”
INT. ENTERPRISE - MAIN BRIDGE

PICARD (turning to Geordi) Mr. La Forge, we need more power to the shields.

GEORDI On it, Captain.

Geordi hurries to a small, inconspicuous closet at the side of the bridge. He opens the door and steps inside. The closet is cramped, filled with various cleaning supplies and equipment.

INT. CLOSET

GEORDI (whispering to himself) Alright, let’s see what we’ve got.

The lights in the closet flicker, and a low hum of machinery can be heard.

INT. MAIN BRIDGE - CONTINUOUS

The crew on the bridge looks puzzled

WORF (raising an eyebrow) Did he… Go into the closet?

PICARD (trying to maintain composure) Starfleet decided the production was too expensive.

Riker stifles a chuckle. Suddenly, the console beeps and the shields increase power.

PICARD (exhales with relief)

Geordi emerges from the closet

GEORDI (tapping his combadge) La Forge to bridge, power levels are stable.

PICARD Nods awkwardly.

PICARD Excellent work, Mr. La Forge.

The crew exchanges amused glances.

FADE OUT.

It’s Lemmy. It’s always like this.

On to Zip drives, then?

“… As you wish.”

Poppycock.

I, uh… ahem. I’ll have a piece of that, please.

Freedom. Fighter.

Surprisingly good at the hammer throw.

I agree.

Feels so good.

Let me guess: Front trunk? Please tell me I’m wrong.

Castlevania 64 was clearly an unfinished game. The first couple levels make their ambitions clear, and the rest of the game is just sort of slapped together. Legacy of Darkness added the rest of the game.

Nobody really celebrates these games. I grew up with them and can appreciate the experience they were offering, but they weren’t exactly my favorites, and I don’t feel they aged particularly well. Maybe take a look through a long play video before committing any real time to it.

Jesus Christ, it’s like they made a new RoboCop out of the girl from The Ring