• 0 Posts
  • 28 Comments
Joined 11 months ago
cake
Cake day: August 3rd, 2023

help-circle




  • I had a lifetime movie type experience with an ex several years ago, that was an incredibly close call. Shortly after it happened, I got a haircut and told the hairdresser about it, because it’s a good story. She got pretty quiet and afterwards my sister scolded me for trauma dumping. It probably was that at the time, because I was pretty traumatized, but I didn’t realize that that would make a stranger feel weird.

    I was in my early twenties and had not yet learned that I was autistic, but I do tend to pick up on those signals. Just, the stress of the situation made it feel like a thing that should be shared (for real everyone, google peoples full names before you start dating them).


  • Someone told me not to ask strangers how their day was (like in the real world) if I didn’t really want to know (like that someone’s dad died)

    To be fair, this is cultural. I’m an American immigrant in Germany, and I’ve unintentionally started that type of conversation a bunch of times. Here, if you ask, it’s not a social cliche, so you shouldn’t be unprepared for a real answer. In American terms, it’d be like putting your hand on someone’s shoulder, looking them in the eye for a moment and asking “how are you?,” then being surprised if they tell you something sad.



  • I’ve worked for some garbo places, but all of them shut the ice machine down immediately for super thorough and annoying cleaning. Ice and glass are too hard to tell apart and the dangers of ice in a drink are too high for even the greediest managers I’ve had to want to chance it.

    Someone out there might risk it, but it’s a pretty obvious thing to avoid










  • Andrea dworkin has some incredible points. And some that are a lot less palatable for modern feminists.

    I personally find her to be an often misguided, incredibly dedicated protector of women- I’m so glad she was formational in spreading modern feminism, but I have to double check what view of hers is cited. Sometimes she’s identifying a subtle pressure point in society as above, and sometimes she’s suggesting that men cannot have sex with women without being predatory, that heterosexual sex is inherently degrading to women and automatically statutory rape (obviously oversimplified). To be clear, I think that’s an interesting theory, and I can see using it as a thought experiment, but I think it’s very incorrect.