chamber

chamber

^chamber

I don’t mean anything by this comment. I literally just wanted to make an echo. Anyway, fuck Rapey McShitprez

Stop it!

Okay, now do it some more…

Hey now, you’re an all star

I don’t get why people think this could possibly happen. No matter how much of an asshole, who in your neighborhood can afford so much mindflayer tadpoles altered with ancient netherese magic and weaponized by a villainous well-dressed triad for world domination that they can just shove them into Reeses all willy-nilly and hand them out to random kids. If you’re going through the trouble of illegally acquiring some mindflayer tadpoles altered with ancient netherese magic and weaponized by a villainous well-dressed triad for world domination, you’re not gonna shove them into candy on a lark. You’re gonna fucking use that shit.

I was blown away by the choice, underwhelmed by the experience, amused by the reaction. While I said I’d do it again, the comedy of the novelty will be absent.

Tried some that a friend brought over to a different friend’s apartment. Friend freaked out because his roommate gets upset about strong smells. 7/10, would eat that oddly unpleasant fruit again to ruin another friend’s apartment.

Do it. I fucking dare you. It’ll be fun to watch a media powerhouse and a douche meth lab burn each other down.

What a ridiculous lawsuit. The tenant should get $200 million and get to pull the rope that releases the landlord’s guillotine. Also, should get to flick the match that burns down the apartment complex.

I don’t fuck around with roaches.

I know my mom wasn’t a human being. She was an angel! Except for when she was abusing me horrifically. What do you call some sort of bipedal mammal that exists between heaven and hell and can destroy me with one sentence?

I don’t see what’s so difficult to understand. If you can’t retire at 60, try again at 90. At 120, you really should consider an alternative. If you have to wait until 150, retirement will likely be a lower-priority issue. \s

I wrote this quickly while going on the toilet. Just thought I’d share.

$7K a year ago

Remember when Obama failed to stop hurricane Katrina?

I’m assuming their statement was meant to parallel this idiot thing that people started saying during Trump’s presidency

Holy shit. Most people I know who have lived in Lubbock left because “it’s too small of a city and everyone knows your business.”

I’d still chalk that up as a “pro” in the column for “life achievements.”

If you’d said that there’s a woman in Abilene who trusted you implicitly, I’d question our currently questionable friendship

Been to Abilene—had a bad time. Wouldn’t recommend it. Story seems pretty par for the course.

or the luchador that’s randomly moved in with you

I knew something was different!

I think you just outed your alt.

I’m gonna pass on some knowledge that my mechanic gave me years ago when I started getting into self-repair and kept asking him if things needed to be repaired or replaced:

“Does it say in your user manual that you need to do anything with it or is it currently causing issues? No? Then leave it alone. If you start trying to find issues with things that are working well, you’re just gonna end up paying for repairs on a thing that’ll never work the same again.”

She’s that lady who married the Unabomber from The Office