[REPOST]
There are a handful of rules to saluting in the American military. The when, why, and how is drilled into you from boot camp until the day you leave. Even the order in which the salutes are rendered have meaning. When it comes to vehicles there are helpful insignia and stickers to indicate if its an officer such as a colored sticker located on the front windshield.
My base was small enough where it was everyone’s job at some point to do sentry duty at the front gate which had housing for military families. Sentry duty was pretty basic, you’d stop every vehicle, check IDs and then wave them through. If they were an officer you’d see it coming with those colored stickers and after verifying the identity of the officer, you’d salute and send them on their way.
One day while on duty I approached a vehicle with an officer’s sticker and there was only the officer’s wife driving in the vehicle. I returned her ID, wished her a nice day and waved her through. Pausing with a stern look, “Where’s my salute?”
Now, Karen here was wife to a higher ranking officer and has clearly has fallen under the impression people are saluting her somewhere along the way. Some of the junior enlisted might’ve even been saluting her as they’re more prone to f*ck ups.
I politely replied, “Ma’am salutes are only rendered to commissioned officers.” Angrily pointing her fingers at the front of her windshield towards her husband’s officer sticker, “I have a sticker and you need to salute the sticker.” Curtly I continued, “I’m afraid that sticker is not an officer either.”
Frustrated she pulled through and left my post. My cover guy and I watched her drive down the street and pull right into the administrative building with the top brass and huffed into the building as quickly as her body would take her. We exchange a look between us with wry smiles knowing exactly where this is probably going.
Later that day, we get a new official base-wide mandate. From here forward all enlisted will salute vehicle stickers of officers regardless of who’s in the vehicle. Rodger that.
Cue malicious compliance.
It’s worth noting that when you salute an officer as enlisted, you do it first, and you hold that salute until you are saluted in return and they lower theirs. Only then do you lower your salute. It signals that you’re saluting them, and they’re replying.
Additionally, when saluting a group of officers, you generally direct your salute and greeting to the highest-ranking individual. Now as far as I know this stupid sticker salute order has no accommodation for how a 2004 Toyota Camry fits into the officers pecking order. Additionally if the car is unoccupied, it’s not like that sticker is removed.
After that order came through we all began saluting stickers. Personally, I’d direct my salute to the sticker. I would also prioritize sticker salutes over officers. Let me tell you, walking through parking lots was a blast as I saluted empty cars on my way to where ever. More and more people saw me doing it, and more and more people started doing it.
Not long after the order was publicly rescinded, which hilariously had the balancing effect of never rendering a salute to anyone but a clearly known officer cementing Karen never getting her unearned salutes.
TL;DR: Civilian wife demanded to be saluted because her husband was an officer, used her clout to get a rule enlisted ordering us to salute vehicle stickers. We all followed orders and saluted vehicle stickers, prioritized them over officers, and even empty vehicles in parking lots until the rule was rescinded, ensuring the civilian wife never got her salutes.
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So, a small anecdote from me, although from within the German Bundeswehr:
Back when I left school, Germany still had a mandatory 9 month military service (you could refuse military service in exchange for a civil service). The first three months were basic training and fairly strict, in that we had to salute higher ranking personell when we were in uniform. Our group had the luck of getting a private as a substitute group leader, someone who just finished their first 3 months. Since we were technically the same rank, we didn’t have to salute the first three months.
After our three months, everyone was transfered to different barracks, I was transfered to a military airport, specifically a helicopter sqaudron. So when I entered the hangars, I came across the first officer and saluted them, according to military conduct. They saluted back but immediately followed up, asking me to never do that again.
Air force pilots and their crew are almost exclusively officers and up, so when I was in the barracks, I would have to constantly salute, and they would have to salute back, and no one wanted that. So we were told not to salute, a friendly “good morning/day” would be enough.
There was only one person in the entire barracks that we were supposed to salute, and that was the barracks’ commander. Who, at their first visit to our squadron, told our squadron leader beforehand to have us not to salute him, either, so we didn’t.
Tl;dr: In my entire 9 months of military service, I only saluted once and was immediately told to never do that again.
Curtly I continued, “I’m afraid that sticker is not an officer either.”
Marvelous.
that’s the kind of line i would come up with in the shower three days later and be so mad i didn’t think of on the spot
How were you even able to cross the parking lot? It’s not like the Toyota Camry can ever return the salute so would you basically become stuck in a salute forever?
That dependapotomous was on every deployment with him, drink wine on the couch!
Top ten dictionary moments 2023
“Tricareatops” is another good one. The name comes from Tricare, the medical coverage provided to service members and their immediate family so it’s more or less the same as a dependapotamus.
Technically, you salute the rank and not the individual.
In reality, as you’ve discovered, common sense still applies :)
The individual carries the rank, so its a distinction without a difference. She would still not merit a salute.
It would be no different than opting not to salute someone carrying a uniform. The “rank” only gains status when its in use by someone with the rank.
General officers come with flags, placards, and assorted other bric a brac. The rule of thumb I quoted is decades old, and intended to help clarify how all that goofyness should be addressed, and generally benefits joe.
An officer in civvies carrying his uniform with his rank visible is actually an outstanding example of how said rule of thumb precludes stupid shit, because that guy is almost definitely playing the bullshit game… I’d just salute the fucker, ain’t nobody got time fo dat ;)
I’m so happy they got rid of their fucking stickers.
Why salute to a victim of brainwashing anyway? They need psychiatric help, not recognition.
Honestly thought this was going to end with the narrator holding a salute to Karen, as she becomes increasingly more frustrated, until she thinks to return a modicum of respect with a salute of her own.
I never served, but worked at an Exchange on a Navy base. Freshly promoted Chief’s wives love to try to make us in the store call them by their husband’s rank or whatever other nonsense they thought they deserved, but guess what? I’m not in the chain of command at all and there’s nothing in the employee handbook that makes me abide by any of that.
Back in the 1990’s I was a member of the USCG Auxiliary, which, while made up entirely of civilian volunteers, we worked/trained with active duty USCG and wore very similar uniforms & insignia. The primary differences in our uniforms was we use silver wherever the USCG uses gold, and our insignia, epaulets, etc. have a big “A” in them. So if you know what to look for it’s fairly obvious, but to the casual observer there’s not much difference.
As civilian volunteers we don’t salute one another and don’t expect salutes from active duty USCG, but if someone did salute we would return it out of respect.
I was appointed a position on the USCGAUX National staff for a couple years and had a position that roughly equated to a commander (3 stripes). I occasionally traveled to various USCG training centers as a result, along with other Auxiliarists, and we’d wear our uniforms while on those trips.
We used to chuckle at the various reactions we’d see as we walked around these facilities. Virtually every senior USCG officer could spot us a mile away and offered nothing more than a polite nod or greeting as we passed. Younger members that had been in the USCG for a while would obviously start paying close attention as they got close, looking for a clear sign, then obviously relax when they realized they didn’t have to salute. Cadets and newer USCG personnel would only see the three stripes and immediately salute.
Military is such a fucking joke. Why the fuck would you salute anyone for anything? Bunch of fucking power freaks with a domination kink and their equally as kinky doggies who would literally die for
a piece of colored rag on a stickoil company profits.The only purpose of a mandatory military service like where I live is to teach young people to obey authority without question. That somehow makes you “a real man”.
You live in Finland.
We have military service here because we’re a small country with a large and aggressive neighbour that not only has attacked us within living memory, but is currently demonstrating what it does to neighbouring countries that it thinks it can get away with attacking.
If military service makes sense anywhere…
I am not against military service. I am against MANDATORY military service. Do you honestly think that giving people a choice is a bad thing? That making people choose between learning to kill and obey or going to jail is justified? Or do you think that the majority of young people wouldn’t serve if it wasn’t mandatory? Please.
This is like saying:
I am not against taxation. I am against MANDATORY taxation. Do you honestly think that giving people a choice is a bad thing?
No-one wants mandatory military service, but it’s necessary for the sake of society as a whole. Maybe one day it won’t be, but clearly that’s just how things are now.
As for choice, you do have a choice and you know it. Civilian service is a thing here.
Are you actually comparing paying for healthcare, infrastructure and social security to military service? That’s pretty ridiculous and I think you know it.
Mandatory military service is absolutely not necessary for the sake of society. In Norway, for example, around 80% are released from service and it’s doing quite alright. Sweden is doing fine, too and only a portion of eligible people are actually called in.
And you’re just glossing over the fact that the overwhelming majority in Finland would still serve if it wasn’t mandatory, according to polls the willingness to serve has never really dropped.
And regarding the civilian service, I went there. It’s a year for everyone, instead of 6 months minimum for the military. You also get paid the same as the fresh recruits in the military, which is simply not enough for a civilian. You try living with the day wage if you don’t believe me. And that pay is for a 40h work week. Those conditions are in places worse than the conditions in open prisons, like in Suomenlinna for example. So civilian service is in essence a prison sentence.
