“PET MEEEEEEEEEEE”

“I mean, yeah, OBVIOUSLY I’m going to pet you. I mean seriously. Have you seen yourself in the mirror? I don’t know if being adorable is an evolutionary trait that genes are actively working on improving for survival benefits, but you sure won the adorable gene lottory. Which means I’m going to love you, and feed you, and play with you, and duh, of coarse I’m going to pet you! Who WOULDN’T pet a face like yours??? A monster. An unfeeling, uncaring monster is who wouldn’t pet you. Huh…I guess being cute IS an evolutionary advantage! Now c’mon. We’re going to the park to find some bitches! Yes, bitches. It’s the proper term for female dogs. I wouldn’t mind having some puppies around before we foster them out. Everyone loves puppies! Oh, you thought I meant use your cuteness to find ME some bitches? Also yes. Although, not in the websters sense. That’d be weird…”

G O O D E S T B O Y E

Now that’s a good doggo!

Want