CAFE by GE for those who are wondering.
We are renovating our house including all new appliances. I have told my partner to make sure we get non smart appliances. This is why.
Yes I can setup a VLAN for it to be on but that’s not the point.
Even setting up a vlan doesn’t work half the time because the mobile apps don’t talk directly with the appliance but phone home to a cloud service. A cloud service that will eventually go offline and leave the appliances orphaned. That’s how GE’s thermostats work.
Smart appliances are such a ridiculous scam.
I can totally see a point in some of the features.
The other day my wife and I got 20 minutes from home before I said “oh shit I don’t know if I turned the oven off”. Turns out I did, but we had to drive home to check. I would have loved to pull up an app that told me it was actually off, or even if I was on be able to turn it off from there.
With that said, it’s not worth all the extra bullshit in my opinion.
And what if someone else downloads the app and turns in on?
Then the cookies are going to be burnt
That’s always a possibility especially when every company under the sun is making smart things on a whim for as cheap as possible. I don’t trust any of them as far as I can throw an oven.
I have a few random smart things, but before I connect them to the internet I make sure they have a decent api that I can use, block external access from the router and set up a little interface so that I can VPN into my home and control stuff if I need to. So in order for anything to be compromised my whole network would have to be owned. Which is still possible but I trust that a lot more than letting 20 different apps for each device have access to anything in my home.
Another way to say this is that a hacker needs only access to your private network to gain control of all connected devices.
IMO this is hardly worth it when the benefits are I can check my oven remotely or I can check what the vacuum is doing.
I tend to not buy connected devices if it can be avoided.
I actually find it very nice to get notifications about my toaster oven being preheated or done cooking, or being able to see how much time is left or remotely stop it.
Why the fuck does an oven have a touch screen? That’s a horrible idea. Good luck cleaning your kitchen without accidentally hitting “buttons” on the oven! And heaven forbid food splatter turns on your oven broiler.
How about the motherboard dying before the oven does
I don’t love touch screens on ovens either, but you just press the lock button and then you can clean to your hearts content.
I would hope it’s a special, heavy-duty kind at least.
They’re on everything because it legitimately just is a good way to get lots and lots of controls and displays on a limited space.
I would hope it’s a special, heavy-duty kind at least.
I’ve seen an expensive microwave with a capacitive touch panel right above the door (and the door was the classic oven style, so attached by the bottom edge). If you ever had a phone with crappy moisture detection, you know where this is going.
You put your food in the microwave. Turn it on and let it heat the food up. Open the door, take the food out and close the door again. Congratulations, your microwave has probably just turned itself back on, because it detected the humid hot air rising from the briefly opened door as you touching the screen. And because most of the touch screen is “touchable”, there’s a pretty good chance this gust of humid air can successfully pick a cooking/heating mode and confirm it.
The microwave randomly navigating its own touch screen happened pretty much every time, passing all the menus and turning on was successful about 10% of the time.
In short, I wouldn’t expect a microwave interface to have any thought put into it.
Oh my god, that’s horrible.
Yeah, the touch screen is awful, but just try finding a decent induction range without one and without spending twice as much for the privilege. (It seems that induction ranges are the most popular for this unfortunate design trend.)There’s not really any choices out there. You can lock the screen, which is great for cleaning. Just don’t do that while you’re using the oven or range because it turns everything off and cancels the bake.
I do love everything else about my induction range though. Cold searing stuff is faster and easier to get right. I can bring a pot of water to a rolling boil in about 4 minutes.
So basically you paid money to store someone else’s oven. How long before we are installing vending machines in our kitchens instead of fridge and stove.
Straight out of Unauthorized Bread from Doctorow
Here’s a link to the story for those interested.
That’s an awesome idea. I’ll have my engineers build it into our next product line.
Stole it from my character in “Shadows of Doubt”
But they told me I can just not connect it to the internet and it’ll be just like any dumb device.
Eventually these things will come with modems built in so you can’t even do that.
My APAP machine has a sim card and unless I am careful to not disable airplane mode every time I start it up, it will send all of my health data to company that I have signed no agreement with.
I explicitly declined to agree to the privacy policy of the company that sold it to me.
If I find my data in a breach, lawyers will be involved.
Hopefully you don’t live in the US where your insurance company can buy that data and use it to deny you coverage or raise your rates.
They already do it with cars why not CPAP machines.
Cars already do that with having their own cell connection that you can’t turn off. It’s dystopian.
My microwave is a 1977 Amanda Radarange. It can boil a cup of water in ⅕ of the time a modern microwave can.
Now granted, it has zero fancy settings and a simple number pad that does nothing but set how long you want the microwave to run.
But honestly, this simplicity is a large part of it’s charm. No connectivity needs, no features locked behind paywalls, no extraneous bullshit or never-used features. Just a tool that does only one thing, and does it exceptionally well.
I got a “retrowave” in mint green. It’s dumb, uses a turn dial to set the cook time, stands on little feet like it’s from Rocko’s Modern Life, and looks like it’s from the 50’s. Have a matching toaster and eventually want a matching fridge.
It’s been 4 years and no issues which is more than I can say about a lot of other new appliances we’ve gotten for the house.
For dumb appliances with a fun aesthetics look up 'retro (name of appliance here) and you’ll get all the brands who make stuff like that. It’s the only way I’ve been able to avoid smart garbage so far.
The fridge will likely operate far less efficiently than a modern fridge unless you have it rebuilt.
With that said, a rebuilt fridge - with a more efficient cooling system and better insulation and all seals redone, etc. - does not cost significantly more than a new midrange fridge.
Oh these are modern appliances with a retro aesthetic. Everything inside is all brand new including energy efficiency…just minus the smart features
Really!? That’s a bit of a life hack. Good to know.
Usually mass-produced is a fraction of the price of anything bespoke.
Well, most of the fridge is already there. You just need to disassemble, sandblast the metal and paint (if the paint is in poor condition), replace the insulation with closed-cell spray foam, replace the refrigeration system with a modern Freon-free system, reassemble and put new seals on.
An old fridge can be quite simple, structurally speaking. It’s in the 70s and 80s when fridges started getting compact, difficult to repair, and disposable.
Other than the frame, what components aren’t being replaced? I’ll admit my fridge knowledge is mostly theoretical.
That’s fine if you like the appearance of “retro” appliances, but that is certainly not the only way to avoid smart devices. Most microwaves, toasters, etc sold are not smart devices.
Eh, its a very easy way to avoid smart appliances and a surprising amount of people don’t know they exist.
If it’s not for you, that’s okay, but someone else might find it useful and maybe wants that aesthetic.
what is that thing wired into a 600v line??
Maybe just one without proper breakers?
Does it let you control the power level at all? If it does then no issues. If it can’t, hardly an issue.
Yes! The Amandas were the best.
Removed by mod
It’s so you can have the New Turkey Mode
That’s because air fryer.
There are no dumb air fryers, are there?
Air fryer in this case just refers to the convection oven setting on the stove. It’s not a standalone air fryer.
Mine doesn’t connect to anything AFAIK. Actually, maybe it has Bluetooth? I’ve never bothered with it, though.
Please say there isn’t a subscription
Stop! The MBAs can only get so erect
If they will be running a botnet with your net at least it should be a fair pay.
I wonder if they will eventually make a toilet bowl to connect to the Internet. Can’t flush until you connects to the Internet just because…
There are toilets that analyse your waste and send the results to your doctor. They ID you by scanning your anus since everyone’s anus is unique. Maybe one day the results can be sent to your kitchen and your fridge and airfryer can deny you access to unhealthy foods when your toilet tells them to.
Jesús fucking christ some guy made the Adult Swim skit into a real product?
This wasn’t supposed to be real
And GenAI isn’t part of this. Not enough hype, no VC will fund it.
More likely to be bidets.
AI will analyse video of dirty bums and generate the exact pressure and aim required to get them clean.
For that to work some people have to get too much pressure. Your clean ass will have been built on the live lost to excessive bidet pressure.
You’re supposed to use water and your hand to wipe.
Some people are so gross
I use 2-3 squares of toilet paper to wipe and dry. I don’t want to run the electrical wires to hook up a fancy bidet with a hot air blower
Use your hand like a savage?
No thanks
Lol I hope you are right. Or else I will have to make sure the Internet is working before going to washroom.
This is from 10yrs ago. Adult Swim joke skit.
And no one took their idea to the market yet. Shame on those large companies
Seems to me like they do not know how to make a good oven.
Our GE Profile oven did the same. Of course the software is so shit, it tripped up connecting to the VLAN I set up and now it has air fry mode and no wifi.
Maybe try switching to airplane mode on your phone while trying to onboard the oven? I’m sure it’s too late for that.
What does the dismiss button do? Or the back button.
Just based on the messages (that could be miss leading) sounds like some features will not work.
Would be interested to know of you can connect, enable, then block it’s access to the internet. That’s what I did with Wyze cams.
