I put a dick on it. (Lithuanian)
Flowers on my dick and bees all around is so mysterious
It was all the buzz in those days!
Honey, stick around; I’ve got more where those came from.
Buzz off, we don’t need you droning on.
Maybe it’s something more like “I dislike this situation”? Because I’d honestly be freaking out if my dick was covered in flowers and I was surrounded by bees. That’s how you get bees on your dick which seems objectively bad. I would give a fuck.
I interpret it as “I don’t give a fuck about it, and I’m so calm about it that I can literally have flowers on my dick and bees around it and I’ll be safe, I’m a Buddha of fucking calmness about this situation, I’m one with nature and the planet”.
You know, bees attack you only if you do some violent movements. I’m overthinking it, but I agree from the bunch it’s the one that stands out. So poetic.
But bees are typically not aggressive unless you frighten them. It might even tickle a little.
Not as obviously cool as the above, but I always liked the way Tagalog (Philippines) works: wala akong pakialam. Literally translated, it’s just “I don’t care,” but there’s a layer of passive-aggressiveness that can make it really offensive.
Hopefully interesting grammar lesson
In the Philippines, politeness is a really big deal, so big they have multiple layers to it:
- add “ho” - use for someone around your age to make the sentence polite
- add “po” - use for someone of higher status or age to make the sentence polite
- use plural form of you - makes anything more polite, and must be used w/ “po” with the elderly or people deserving/expecting respect
There are also pretty strict, unspoken rules about what is appropriate and what’s not appropriate to say in public.
Tagalog also uses prefixes to verbs for conjugation with separate prefixes for different uses of the same verb (e.g. physical action vs “internal” action, group action, habitual action, etc). The prefix here is “paki” (turns things into a request), and the verb is “alam” (to know). Literally translated, it means something like “please inform me,” though you could use other ways to communicate the same thing. My point here though is that “paki-” makes the request super polite.
To break it down: “wala” (Nothing, don’t have) “ako(ng)” (I, me), “paki-” (polite request), “-alam” (to know).
Basically, that construction throws out the entire culture of politeness while blatantly saying you don’t want anything to do with knowing about whatever that is. In many contexts, it’s more offensive than swearing at the person.
I love this. The closest I’ve come in English is replying to a huge angry text rant with “Unsubscribe”
I feel like you can get somewhat close with some english speaking cultures, youd be surprised how pissy folks from the South get when you respond to their passive aggressive BS with curt but utterly impolite responses.
Bless your heart, darling.
I will skin you alive and make your family watch.
Sounds like like saying “didn’t ask”
More fitting would be German “das geht mir am Arsch vorbei” “it passes me by the ass”.
If you say so.
Mir ist das Wurst
The Dutch have this too.
Het zal me worst wezen
Google Translate puts that as “I don’t care” but I’m guessing that’s not the literal translation
It’s sausage to me
Fine. Be that way. He was only asking for the literal translation. I care a cucumber.
do you know what Dutch phrase the tweet is referring to because I never heard that
“het kan me de reet roesten”
I’ve definitely never heard of that, but I live in Belgium so that’s probably why…
“It will be a sausage to me”
Wayne…
Es ist eine ältere Referenz, aber sie prüft aus
More from German:
“Das ist mir X” = “It is X to me,”
where X = banane, brot, bumbel, bums, egal, gleich, latte, pisse, relativ, schnuppe, schnurz, schwanz
(banana, bread, booger, fuck, equal, same, boner/slat, piss, relative, meteor/snuff, ?, tail/dick)Juckt?
How about the Brazilian “I am shitting and walking” (cagando e andando), similar to a horse or donkey that shits while walking and pulling a cart, like it is nothing, without a care in the world…
Or, more commonly, “Tô nem aí” which would translate to “I’m not even there”.
Pode ficar com seu mundinho.
Eu não tô nem aí(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Too polite… has to be on the same level as the OP’s expression.
If I were a donkey and that happened to me I’d be mad. Nothing worse than a morning where you don’t have time to take a shit in peace
similar to a horse or donkey that shits while walking and pulling a cart, like it is nothing, without a care in the world
I appreciate the imagery.
I’d say french je m’en bat les couilles is technically “I slap my balls with it”
Oh, so I’m just supposed to slap my balls with something large like a tank? Come on!
A big thing that would hurt to slap your balls with isn’t something to ignore.
“My dick hurts” - various west Balkan languages.
I Brazilian portuguese that would be “Caguei” -> I took a shit
There’s also “to pouco me fudendo” -> I’m barely fucking myself
Essa é boa kkkkkk
A few others from french :
J’en parlerai à mon cheval (I’ll make sure to tell my horse)
Parle à mon cul, ma tête est malade (Talk to my ass, my head is sick/ill)
Je m’en tamponne le coquillard (no idea how to translate this, but here is a fun explainer, also in french)Like water on a goose - Swedish
Just thought of one that takes a bit of explanation. In Swedish, much like German, words are joined to create longer words. Such as smörgåsbord(sandwich table). The smurfs in Swedish are therefore called gammelsmurfen (old smurf), "anything"smurfen. Because of this, people jokingly say “intressesmurfen antecknar” ( interest smurf is taking notes) to indicate that they don’t care about what somebody is saying
This may be the least vulgar one yet, lol
I’m Dutch. Never heard of that phrase. They probably mean “It can rust on my ass” “‘t kan me aan mijn reet roesten” still never heard people using that. Is probably regional.
Flemish: kan mij geen reet schelen
I use it sometimes. We also use an equivalent of the German one: het zou mij worst wezen.
It’s even in the lardass van dale: https://www.vandale.nl/gratis-woordenboek/nederlands/betekenis/reet
lardass van dale?
The most well known Dutch dictionary is made by Van Dale, and it’s a big book so we call it the Dikke Van Dale, which translates to Thick/Fat/Lard-Ass Van Dale.
yeah I looked it up and saw “thick van dale” as a nickname, but I thought it might be a weird translation. makes sense there would be more names.
The fat hooligan.
i’m american. i’m pretty sure it should say “it can oxidize on my donkey”… for no reason.
When I talk about preserving Linguistic Diversity, this is what I mean.
Less vulgar finnish version
“Kiviäkin kiinnostaa.”
i.e. rocks are also interested (about that subject)
And that’s a way more common way to say it IMHO.
“Zero fucks given” is both vulgar and not the most common way to say you don’t care about something in English. So the best equivalents should all be vulgar as well.
I get it, just pointing out that the vulgar version is not a very common way to express it in Finnish.
Makes sense. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a person say “zero fucks given” in real life, but I see it constantly online.
That was my first question: are people going around saying this?
I mean a kilogram of shit is a big shit. Googling says an average shit is half a kilogram (one pound). This is interesting shit.
So a kilogram is two shits. “I don’t give two shits”.
You came here from r/theydidthemath, didn’t you?
The beauty and elegance of the metric shitstem is truly something to behold.
I agree with you a shit-ton.
You mean you agree two thousand shits?
Not my circus, not my monkeys. (English)
Like the server said, “Not my table!”
